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- March 2010 (1)
- February 2010 (3)
- January 2010 (4)
- December 2009 (5)
- November 2009 (11)
- October 2009 (4)
Poochinski Lives
Saturday, February 27, 2010 - The Admin
A clip of the utterly inexplicable Poochinski made the rounds a few months ago. Equal parts NYPD Blue, The Odd Couple and Look Who’s Talking Now, Poochinski centered on a hardboiled cop (Peter Boyle) moving in with his no-nonsense partner. The twist? The hardboiled cop was killed on the job and reincarnated as a weird looking animatronic bulldog. Now, after a long wait, the same kind soul responsible for the original clip has uploaded the full pilot to youtube. So sit back, relax and enjoy Sgt. Stanley Poochinski try to find his killer, play matchmaker for his roommate and trot out almost every dog cliche imaginable. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your pooch.
Art That Most People Think Sucks, Part I
Saturday, February 27, 2010 - Esmé Pestel
By Mizuti; hosted over at Christian Humber Reloaded's current home.
Christian Humber Reloaded is a dreadfully written incoherent mess of a story. The plot is essentially non-existent and does nothing beyond provide a thread connecting the various slaughters of its protagonist, which as Kriegsaffe notes in his lengthy deconstruction of the story, is “the most powerful self-insertion character” that he (or anyone, probably) had ever seen. It clearly is not a masterpiece, but that does not mean that we should not take it seriously. After all, it has antecedents in pre-internet literature. Not great literature, mind you, but literature.
Guaranteed Successful Time-Management Strategy in 2 Easy Steps!
Friday, February 26, 2010 - The Misanthropologist
Somewhat unrelated.
“Dissonance”
Saturday, January 16, 2010 - The Misanthropologist
Most human beings socialize and pretend to have fun on Friday nights, but I instead sacrificed my evening to prepare a little song and crappy video for you! Enjoy.
The Top 25 Movies of the Aughts
Wednesday, January 13, 2010 - Kevin Longrie
End of the year, or in this case, end of the decade lists are, by their nature, as protean as they are personal. If composed a month, or even a week from now, this same list might’ve seen a change in its order and even its content. There are several unavoidable evils that come along with something as subjective as picking one’s favorite movies. Recent films are fresher in your mind, and some might have added weight from being watched again (and again) after their release. But even with these in mind, I have created a list based on my own moviegoing experiences in the last 10 years (which is considerable, but by no means comprehensive).
The aughts were an important time for film. Studios started creating smaller, independent production companies and financing braver, more interesting cinema. Advances in technology have ushered in an era of low-budget pioneers, making the medium more accessible (even if many of these films never find distribution). And, on the grander public stage, even mainstream cinema saw a measure of refinement, producing smarter blockbusters/studio pictures.
A few notable exceptions from this list include animated film (Pixar has had quite a decade) and documentaries (this choice was mostly due to my limited interaction with the genre).
Mario and Zelda: Worlds Collide
Saturday, January 9, 2010 - The Misanthropologist
Even Kevin Arnold's little brother knows about the warp whistle
Hey there, got a few minutes? Great, then let me spin a little yarn for you. You’d better have a drink for this one, good thing I prepared this rum and coke ahead of time. What? Hmmm, tastes fine to me. Anyway, a profound revelation was imparted to me today, as I crafted a flute from PVC pipe following directions I found on the net. Let me note first of all that I don’t actually know how to play a flute but after failing to forge a working woodwind from a branch of dead poplar earlier in the day, I needed an ego boost. As the monumental plans to paint this flute orange and write “Warp Whistle” on it in order to woo hipster girls who enjoy reminiscing about retro video games they never actually played almost as much as they enjoy reminiscing about entire decades they wish they were born into, danced along my synapses, I was struck by a realization. No, of course I’m not alluding to you! Clearly you’re different. Here, have another drink.
Review: “Up in the Air” (2009)
Monday, January 4, 2010 - Kevin Longrie
Like “Juno” and “Thank You for Smoking” before it, Jason Reitman’s third film “Up in the Air” is a light, surefooted comedy rooted in moments of genuine heart. Like Juno MacGuff and Nick Naylor before him, Ryan Bingham (George Clooney), the film’s protagonist, lives a lonely and somewhat troubled existence before he’s able, by uniting around his family, to transcend it. And like his previous work, “Up in the Air” is an achievement in technical filmmaking rather than one of emotional resonance; it is a solid, enjoyable indie film, but it is not as valuable or as enlightening as it purports to be.
Galactic Fountain of Meme, Episode I: A New and Only Hope
Monday, December 21, 2009 - The Misanthropologist
With help from fellow BONer, Esmé, I’ve transcribed all the greatest lines from Star Wars, Episode IV: A New Hope. Some of these quotes are simply badass, some of them are funny, but all of them are beautiful when taken out of context. Juvenile commentary included free of charge! Hopefully, I will do the other two movies of the original trilogy at some point, but right now I sleepy. Now, bathe in the rejuvenating waters of nostalgia! Note that the quotes in bold are those deemed the most meme-worthy, by either my own judgement or by virtue of the fact that they already are memes.
On Investing Horrible Ideas with Legitimacy By Claiming the Moral High Ground
Saturday, December 19, 2009 - Esmé Pestel
Playing dress up is fun.
Nothing can provide as much intellectual security as the conviction that one’s position is not only factually warranted but morally imperative. This position is evident in the writings of activist (I hesitate to actually confer on him the honor of being referred to as a “scholar”) Ward Churchill. His “history” is more polemic than anything and frequently cast in extremely Manichean terms. But the most insidious part of Churchill’s work is not the sanctimonious presentism that pervades his scholarship, but the extreme “ends justify the means” mentality that leads him to conclude that innocent people deserve to die – and the cover of legitimacy his reputation as a professor lends to that position.
Anarchism and Negative Utilitarianism: A Possible Synthesis?
Saturday, December 12, 2009 - The Misanthropologist
Anarcho-abolitionism?
A great deal of time was spent pondering how to begin this essay. Given the scope of the concepts at hand, there did not seem to be any way to properly introduce my ideas to the reader. So I decided to begin with the hackneyed postmodern device known as self-reference, thus absolving myself of the burdensome duty of being creative [end humor sequence]. Since most of the readership, which undoubtedly consists entirely of people I coaxed through facebook to follow a link here, is probably uninitiated in one or more of these concepts, it is necessary to explain each of them on the course presenting my own ideas.
Workers and Peasants of Brooklyn!
Friday, December 11, 2009 - Esmé Pestel
In the inter-war period, an American communist organizer decided for some reason to open his speech with the above. It’s a line so preposterous that if someone told me the speaker was actually a free market fundamentalist in disguise out to make Communism look ridiculous, I would have no trouble believing them. Such is the stuff of this post. Although Poe’s Law was postulated in reference to fundamentalist Christianity, its applications elsewhere are legion. Roughly, Poe’s Law holds that extremism and parodies of extremism are indistinguishable. The tanned, thickly-accented Guidismo of the inhabitants of MTV’s Jersey Shore and the sheltered, fact defying logic and beliefs of the Marxist-inspired extreme left fit the bill perfectly.
Review: Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)
Monday, November 30, 2009 - Kevin Longrie
Are you cussing with me?
“Honey, I’m seven non-fox years old,” Mr. Fox (George Clooney) tells his wife as the camera pushes in on them sitting down to breakfast, “My father died at seven-and-a-half. I don’t want to live in a hole anymore. And I’m gonna do something about it.” Then, after a pregnant pause, he tears full force into his meal, arms flying and jaws snapping, with the voracity of, well, a wild animal. This early scene stands in for a remarkable whole; “Fantastic Mr. Fox,” adapted from Roald Dahl’s beloved book of the same name, succeeds by oscillating effortlessly between complicated, even adult concerns and downright fun. Not carefree enough to be shallow and not serious enough to be tiresome, Wes Anderson’s latest is a triumph of balance, at once enjoyable and meaningful.
Review: “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” (2009)
Monday, November 23, 2009 - Kevin Longrie
As she stumbles, panting, through thick underbrush at the beginning of “New Moon,” Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) comes face to face with that which she fears most. No, she doesn’t encounter a villainous monster (series author Stephenie Meyer has defanged or declawed most of these); instead, she sees herself grow old. Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson)―her pale, sharp-browed Adonis―also appears in the clearing, striding toward her senescent self. This nightmare, one of many Bella has during the film, exposes, as a central theme: her fear of aging, which she perceives as her romantic obsolescence. Will their awkward, mumbling love stand the test of time; or will Edward, when met with (as Yeats put it) “the sorrows of [her] changing face,” turn and fly? “New Moon,” an overlong mess of hormones and heartache, is not sure.