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The Promise

So the biggest problem with having shoes made out of rocks is that they just break apart – look at all these beaches we have now. Used to be the planet was covered in water with a mountain or a meadow here and there, but everyone’s walking around in their rock shoes and those rock shoes are just breaking apart, and other people walk on those broken bits and next thing you know you got a beach. Beaches are just nothing but tiny rocks. Plus, think of all the freeways. Have you ever crouched down and actually looked at a road? I got a big surprise for you: it’s just a bunch of tiny rocks super close together. And where do you think those rocks came from? I’ll give you three guesses. You just never notice it because your car has a rubber shoe on its wheel called a tire so the car doesn’t feel the pointiness of the broken rocks. Finally, rock shoes aren’t even comfortable. Why would you wear them when you could wear a pair of shoes that are made out of rubber or leather, or hell, even a moccasin? They’re hard, and they poke your feet, and when the sun is shining really brightly and you leave them out, it’ll take hours for them to cool down. All that means your feet hurt, plus the rocks break into tinier rocks and leave beaches and roads and whatnot everywhere. We’re not living in the dang Flintstones. Anyway, that’s why I’d like to be your president in 2008.

-Barack Obama, Democratic Convention Keynote Address, 2004

Do you think he’s fulfilled his campaign promise?